I was interviewed this morning by Ian Berry on one of his Google+ ‘Hangout’ programs. Ian is the founder of Difference Makers – a global community of which I’m a member, and the topic we were discussing was Commitment.
When you are clear on your intention for each life role, clear about your intention for the people you impact through the relationships you create within each of your life roles, commitment becomes almost a by-product… you don’t ‘feel committed’ because of any extrinsic reason, you become committed, engaged, connected because of an intrinsic drive – your intention.
Ian asked me about the commitment that Liz and I have in our relationship after almost 30 years of marriage and my comment was that I have never felt committed to our marriage… it wasn’t a commitment to be married, it was and is so much more than that, because marriage isn’t an outcome, it’s a relationship of shared experiences. So what I concluded was, I wasn’t committed to the marriage per se, I am committed to wanting to continue to pursue the shared experiences with Liz.
What can we learn from this about the way we work?
Whether we’re talking about relationships or tasks or goals that we’re trying to achieve, when you’re clear about your intention, your bigger WHY, you start to realise (and I know it sounds a bit ‘soft’) that it’s about the journey and not necessarily the destination.
What we know from science is that while pursuing an intentional aspirational goal, whether at work or in our personal lives, our sense of ‘well-being’ is increased. We may experience moments of happiness, we may experience moments where we are aware that we are flourishing and growing, we may experience moments of difficulty while in pursuit of the goal, we may experience set backs. However, it is the journey where we experience a greater sense of personal well-being than after achieving the goal.
That’s not to say goal achievement isn’t important and that we don’t enjoy it. Of course we do. However it is in the setting and pursuing the goal where we experience the greater sense of well-being, and it is our intention that drives our commitment to set and pursuing the intentional aspirational goals.
That’s why often in work situations people are not as committed to achieving work goals because they are not clear of their intention, or they are clear that the reason their management want them to achieve the goal is not aligned with their personal values and sense of purpose.
I thoroughly enjoyed the discussion with Ian and we covered a range of topics, all of which reinforced the universality of intentionomics – that People Get Your Truth… over time your intentions, promises, actions and results will either promote or expose you.