social media“What you focus your motivation on grows stronger!” A recent study suggests that people who invest too much time on social media are more likely to have relationship issues.

I got thinking about this and it just makes sense doesn’t it? If you’re investing your motivation in the ‘cyber world’ and investing less mindfully in the realities of what’s going on around you, there’s surely an intentional trust issue at risk.

Whether in your personal life or your business life, being concerned for others is of course positive, but finding it compelling to keep checking up on what others are doing via social media, driven by a fear of missing out (FOMO), sets you on a virtual world of wanting to either keep up with the Joneses, or potentially even worse, add into negative and destructive conversations to put ‘the Joneses’ down if they’re bragging too much on social media about their wonderful and overly positive life.

In the early days of the internet, we used to joke about people in the same office – positioned only a few desks away from each other – sending emails rather than getting off their chair, walking over to the person and having a conversation.

Looking back now, that was probably the start of this potentially detached life that many are now living.

Now before you think that I’m hankering for ‘the old days’… I’m certainly not. However, what I am questioning myself about, and asking you to consider in this post, is where I’m investing my motivation in my every day personal and business life.

If what we invest our motivation in grows stronger, it surely points to the advantage that investing our motivation in our relationships, will make those relationships even stronger. Investing in the trust that we have in our relationships however takes conscious and intentional focus. Otherwise, we might just leave trust in our relationships to chance… and as I’ve posted before, when you leave things to chance, the chances are you’ll just leave them.

Take a moment today to think about the important relationships you have at work and in your personal life. What are your intentions for the people you impact in your relationships… what do you want for them (not what do you want from them)? What are the promises you’re making to them to live up to that intention… or are you simply making unintentional promises (or not promising anything at all)? How confident are you that the actions you’re taking on a daily basis are focused on building your trust relationships by fulfilling the intentional promises you’ve made? And finally, are the results you’re achieving in your personal and business life validating the intentional promises you’re making – to yourself and to others?

The vast amount of evidence from research on what it takes to live a happy, flourishing, meaningful and prosperous life points to the importance of the quality of the intentional trust relationships we have. While there are many benefits that social media provides in terms of keeping in contact and up to date and sharing with the people we have in our personal and business relationships, FOMO is just one of an increasing number of negative impacts that poorly focused use of social media can have on our trust relationships and therefore on our capacity to live more happy, flourishing, meaningful and prosperous lives.