Let’s face it, sometimes even for those of us who have good jobs, good relationships, and a good life overall, every now and then, we find ourselves, either intentionally or unintentionally in stressful situations where we can potentially just lose control.
When these moments are what I refer to as micro moments of mayhem, this isn’t really too much to be concerned about. For example, if you’re stuck in traffic and you ‘lose it’ and find yourself shouting at other people who can’t really hear you and are in the same stressful traffic situation… no big deal, right? But when these micro moments of mayhem start to add up and add up, at some stage they can potentially manifest themselves into a macro moment of mayhem, where when ‘losing it’ can have more significantly negative impacts on our own life and the lives of others.
Resilience is a reactive state
Being able to deal with the tough stuff in life is often discussed as resilience. However, resilience is a reactive state. It’s bouncing back (or in the more ‘hip’ language… bouncing forward) after some traumatic or stressful event.
While I am an advocate of resilience training, and there’s been a lot of great science and evidence-based programs developed in the field of applied positive psychology around building resilience, I recommend rather than just relying on your reactive resilience skills, do some work now and regularly on Proactively Positioning of Awareness.
Proactive Positioning of Awareness is about intentionally and mindfully being aware of your own personal signals that your mind and body send you that you’re potentially about to ‘lose it’ because of not being in control of you, and letting the events that you’re in take that control away (It’s also about being intentionally and mindfully aware of when you’re positively in the moments that matter in your life).
In my weekly personal yoga sessions with Louise Eddy from the In Motion Lifestyle Centre, I do a lot of work on being consciously and mindfully aware of my breathing as we go through the various stretching, positions and movements through the session. There are so many research findings about the positive benefits of yoga, and for me the most important has been my ability to very quickly now, especially in potentially stressful situations, simply breathe, become aware of my breath and be attuned to what my body is feeling (physically and emotionally). This allows me to take more control of arguably the only thing that I really have control over (most of the time)… my thoughts, feelings and actions.
There’s a new theory known as Passive Frame Theory that dispels what most of us think about what role consciousness plays in our life that Jeremy Dean, one of my favourite Positive Psychology researchers and bloggers posted about today. I will let you read the full article here or if you’re really interested, read the research paper here.
However, as best as I can interpret what this counterintuitive research suggests, is that the function of our consciousness is more about action rather than awareness.
Proactive Positioning of Awareness builds Trust
Regardless of Passive Frame Theory, what I am convinced about is the importance of our proactive positioning of our awareness – by whatever mechanism – to be more mindful, in more moments that matter, more often.
This proactive positioning of our awareness helps us connect and engage with the people we deal with on day to day interactions through our professional and personal lives, and this helps us to bring more trust into our lives – more self-trust, trust in others, and earning the trust of others. And with more trust in our lives, as a vast array of research confirms, most if not all of our success indicators in our personal and professional lives increase.
PS… don’t forget, I always welcome your feedback and if you’d like to have me present at your next conference on sales, customer service, leadership or success and how intentional trust can make all the difference, or if you’d like to explore how we can work together to boost your team’s success, call me at my Sydney office on 02 9546 2492